As I reflect on my life things weren’t always what I wanted them to be but it’s
been everything that was meant to be. Born and raised in Milwaukee, Wisconsin I
spent most of my days living a life that most would never imagine. Spending my
summers in the ghetto of Milwaukee running up and down the street all day,
drinking the sweetest Kool-Aid, quarter juices with hot chips, and of course a
house with no air conditioner. After the summer days it was back to my house
where morals and values began.
As child I attended Silver Spring elementary, where I was stayed until the 5th
grade. From there I attended Milwaukee School of Languages were I attended for
High school as well. By 2007, I was now the first out of seven children in my
family to graduate from high school and attend college where life began to
change. While attending Parkside, things began to be rediscovered that I never
thought would. Coming to Parkside was the biggest culture shock for me
internally. As I got deep into my major I began to learn more things about
myself and where my journey began. When I came to Parkside I was unaware of who
I was as a person. I wore many masks and played many roles throughout my time
at Parkside and because of that my life changed DRASTICLLY.
As a child my family attended Walter Memorial
Lutheran Church, where I attended every Sunday and for 2 weeks out of the
summer I would attend a vocational Bible school where I was educated on the
word of god and what it meant to be Lutheran.
It was a must for my family to attend church every Sunday seeing that my
mother was on the board of Parish, which was a big thing in the Lutheran
church. I don’t remember much about being at church besides the unity singing,
real wine, and us being the only black family in the church out of hundreds of
families.
Aside from being the only black family in our church it occurred to me that we were
the only African American family in our neighborhood too. I spent many lonely
days in my community trying to figure out why I couldn’t play with the kids
around me whom were Jewish and were orthodox Jews. This was hard for me to understand
but as years passed it all made since. I always wondered why my mother decided
to move in such an ostracized community from where my other family member lived
but this was soon to be explained.
I was born Feb 12, 1988 in Milwaukee, Wisconsin with the birth name Ricardo
Furlantto Brown. My Birth Parents are Cynthia Diane Brown and Jerry L.I Salter.
I don’t have any memories of my parents besides my mother. I met my mother at
the age of five and have very few memories of her. As for my father I have only
heard stories of him. I guess a lot of people would wonder why this occurred. Well
after six months of birth I was taken away from my mother due to her drug
addiction. During the summer of 88 I was what we now consider a foster child. I
was taken away from my mother and given to my grandmother and shortly after she
became ill and had to give me up since I was just a baby.
Years later I was placed in a home where I lived for the majority of my life. My
understanding of becoming a foster child didn’t become clear to me until I was
6 or 7. I remember it like it was yesterday. My foster mother and I went to
sears to take picture to what would become my reality. Weeks after my shoot I
had received my pictures and I was excited. I kept the biggest picture in my
desk at school just to show people because I wanted to become a model. Weeks
later I remember sitting in the back seat of the car and looking up as we drove
up Capital I looked at a billboard that said “Adobt A child” and there my
picture was displayed. I was so excited to know that I had been on a billboard
but the “CAUSE” for me being on that bill board wasn’t the best.
At the age of 14 I was adopted by my two lovely parents Clarence & Vearite
Wynn. This was a year that I would never forget. It was a rebirth for me.
Getting adopted was something that I felt I had been looking forward to for
many years, I was happy to know that there was a family that wanted to make me
apart of their own. After that I had then been given the birth name Ricardo
Demon-Anthony Wynn, where I was now the third oldest out of seven children.
From this day I would now belong to all the family traditions, and secrets that
had been passed down from generation to generation.
As I got older I was able to reconnect the things that I knew were missing
throughout my life. I knew that the family I was given to wasn’t the family I
belonged to but It was important to me to know things about the family that I
had been with for most of my life. From there it encouraged me to know
something’s about the family I was given by birth but hadn’t been given the
opportunity to know anything at all. Due to the things I was learning I was
challenged to travel back in time in order to gain understanding of my own
family traditions.
Currently, I am a senior at the University of Wisconsin Parkside. I have been here for 4
years now. I have served my time here as a GREAT student leader. I have served
three years for the Office of Residents Life, 2 years for the office of Multicultural
Student Affairs, 2 years as a coordinator for Parkside’s Activity board, and
Founder of Ricardo Wynn Presents “The Darkside of Fashion”. When people see me
walk around campus they see someone that has went up and beyond but as they say
all good things must come to an end.
Now that I’m a senior I’m getting ready to head out into the REAL WORLD. As I
reflect on this paper it wasn’t until now that I have gained so much knowledge
of myself. People say that life is what you make it and I see that to be true.
Who would have ever thought that I would grow into the man I am today. By being
at Parkside I have overcome so many of my fears. 5 years ago I would have never
had the courage to even think about me being adopted and now I do and I do so
with a smile on my face.
As I stated earlier I came to Parkside wearing many masks and played multiple
roles. Well I gave all that up to me the person I am today. I have now
connected the missing pieces to my life that I never thought I would connect. I
am now comfortable with my sexuality, as I have been for some years now. I
thought coming out of the closet last summer was the worst thing that I ever did but little did I know it was the best
thing that ever happened to me. From this I not only gained confidence within
myself but it has prepared me for the challenges that lie ahead.
Now I believe that if I never stand for something then I will fall for anything. My
trials and tribulations have made me a humble person. This paper has put my
whole life into perspective it has made me feel as if I have been baptized all
over again. From this day forward I now see that I am not the same Ricardo. My
life has been nothing but “what if’s” and “wonders”. This paper has allowed me
to take time out for me and see the things I want out of life. My Boyfriend has
always told me “nothing external can have any power over you unless you permit
it to”. I have learned to tune out the
constant noise that has been lingering in my head since day one. I don’t have
to prove anything to anyone; I can only follow my heart and concentrate on what
it is I want out of life.
